Finding Love Again - Part 2

So, if you read Part 1 of Finding Love Again, you will remember that i left off with the camping trip where I came to realize that i was falling for Brent. I still wasn't sure how Brent felt about me so I kept my feelings to myself. It was hard to read him sometimes. We still continued to hang out all the time, whenever we could, and he ended up moving out of his girlfriends house and into my basement as I had an extra bedroom down there. I still believed that he only thought of me as a friend and I wasn't sure if our relationship would go any farther but I was just happy to have him in my life, no matter the capacity. Taylor enjoyed having him around too and they did fun bonding things together without me sometimes like going to tube town while i was at work, going to the park, etc. Taylor seemed just as happy as I was. 

Brent, just like myself, had gone thru alot of difficult things in his childhood while growing up and he had alot of commitment issues. Something he never kept from me. He was always honest and would say that he didnt want to hurt me, but it was probably inevitable because he always hurt everyone that he loved. I was thinking... Whoah? What? Loved? Did you just say that? The butterflies started all over again. He had a closed heart from all the hurt and pain in his life but I could see his heart slowly opening up more as time went on. It seemed like suddenly, overnight, he had moved upstairs to my room.... Now I say overnight, but that's obviously not the case... lol I cant remember one exact moment where it just happened, but it did and it was great. We still weren't telling anyone.... not because we didn't want anyone to know, but because our relationship didn't really seem any different.. the only thing that was different was where he chose to sleep now. That's how comfortable our relationship truly was. 

I worked at a real estate company and so one night we were talking about houses and such and we just started talking about whether we should go look at houses, then suddenly, we WERE looking, and then wham, we moved into our new house and were a family! It felt so great to feel happy again but was sad to be leaving a house that had so many memories, good and sad. It was a fresh start for the 3 of us, but was difficult at the same time. I felt like I was saying goodbye to Rene all over again and it was just so heartbreaking. We had planted a tree in the front yard, at his Celebration of Life, and I felt like, because we were leaving it behind, we were also leaving a part of Rene behind. I always wished that I had of brought it with us and planted it at our new house, for both myself and for Taylor. But i know its just a tree... Rene will always be with us whether we had brought the tree with us or not. To this day, when I drive past our old house, i look at that tree in the front yard and smile. 

Brent had left his job of 11 years for something new and different. He worked regular 9-5 hours now instead of 12 hour days, 6-7 days a week so we thought, hey, we should take Taylor to Disneyland!! So we did!! We were going thru customs on the way to LA and Brent was acting all wierd and kept watching the carry on bags as they went thru the monitor. I thought it was sort of odd, but didnt think too much about it. Then the guy asked if he could go thru my purse so i said sure. I didnt have anything to hide. Brent looked a bit worried and was still acting funny and he went up to one of the other baggage handlers and said something to him. The guy smiled and said something back to him and then Brent came back over to me. I asked him what he was doing and he said he just asked why they were going thru my  purse and the guy told him not to worry, and that it was routine. I was to find out later that this wasn't true. 

Neither one of us had ever been to Disneyland so it was such a fun experience for all 3 of us together. The first day there was so magical and fun and i couldn't think of a more fun day ever! After Taylor had gone to bed, we were sitting on the bed having a glass of wine, when I turned to Brent and said just that...... "This day could NOT get any better than this"........ Brent looked at me and said, "yes i bet it could"...... he told me to close my eyes and wait right there.  I had no idea what was happening. A few minutes later he came back and told me to open my eyes.... I didnt see him for a second and then realized he was on the floor, down on one knee, holding a box open in his hand, with a beautiful ring inside! WHAT?! I cant believe this is happening and how the heck did he manage to get that ring into this hotel room without me knowing?.... I was over come with joy and tears as Brent asked me if I would spend the rest of my life with him..... i was speechless... Brent said, "please say something..." LOL Oh my goodness, OF COURSE I will! YES!!!!  

Its true what they say...... Disneyland really is the Happiest Place on Earth!! 

This song was the one they played every night during the fireworks and we had it as one of our wedding songs. Makes me smile every time I hear it. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7lvblx_wA8

Once the shock wore off, he told me the story of how he had hid my engagement ring in my OWN purse and that's why he was freaking out at the airport. He was worried the baggage guy was going to go thru my purse and pull it out and ruin the surprise. HAHA 

2012 is Gone - Time for Reflection

Now that its 2013, I suppose it is time to reflect on the year that has just passed. I recall at the beginning of last year, i was walking around quoting the saying, "2012 is the year of No Excuses" but by the 2nd half of the year, that's all i seemed to be doing when it came to my health and fitness journey, and that was... making excuses! Why does this happen sometimes? We are so motivated and positive at the beginning of a new year and then something happens, or doesn't happen, and we lose all sight of our goals. I vow, this year, to stay true to my goals for 2013, even when life gets in the way, and remember how badly I feel when i stray from them. 

As I look back at the last year, there were alot of positive events and a few not so positive ones. Here are some that stand out to me. 

1) January started off with a friendship, one which I thought was a good one, ending. No explanation, just stopped speaking to me and I was deleted from her Facebook  A few weeks prior, I had spoke up for myself on a few things, as I did feel that I was being pressured and controlled in certain aspects of our relationship, and needless to say, that didn't go over to well, which i had kind of expected. It took alot for me to stand up for myself because, if you know me, you know that I am a people pleaser and don't like to upset anyone or have anyone dislike me.... which I also know is impossible. There will always be people that don't like you, no matter how good of a person you are, and usually, those people don't even truly know you anyways. I took this event quite hard and tried to move on from it, but I did waste alot of energy stressing over it for many months. I have run into this person twice over the past year and both times I have said to myself, "You will just be true to yourself, say hi and wish her all the best." I was never given that chance because both times, she made eye contact, swung her head to the side, and ignored my gaze for the evening. I was shocked and saddened but have now, in just these past few weeks, come to the conclusion that I can not please everyone and I can no longer waste  one more second wondering what happened. Some people just choose to push you away and that is their prerogative  I wish this person nothing but the best and this experience has made me a better and stronger person so for that, I am grateful. 

2) 2013 also brought about some fun fitness events. Firstly, i organized my 2nd Tommy Europe Bootcamp in Vernon and it was the 3rd one that i had participated in. I felt the most fit I had ever felt and it was such an empowering feeling. Secondly, I began going to Excel Fitness with my husband (in January) and we were having such a great time working out together in the early morning classes. We still go there to this day and I have to say, we have made some great friends there and we always look forward to going.(well, once i finally wake up from my 520 am alarm... lol) Im pretty sure this is also some kind of record for me as I have ALWAYS been the one to join a gym and then after a few months, stop going but continue paying just incase i decide to go back! There will be no more of that in my future!! In April, we went to Vancouver and i ran in the Vancouver Sun Run (10K) for my very first time. It was an amazing time and i am so glad I did it. Our business, Mind, Body & Sole Running and Fitness, organized our 2nd annual Kidsport 5k Fun Run where we raised $2395 for the organization. In August, i stepped completely out of my comfort zone and, with Brent, joined a Dragon Boat team with Excel Fitness, our team being called "The Dirty Oars." I was so nervous and so many times I tried to talk myself out of it but Brent wouldn't let me. I'm so glad that I didn't because it was so much fun and I look forward to this years Dragon boat races. 

3) My Fitness Blast Bootcamp had its 1 year anniversary in July and continues to go strong. Some of the ladies that come have been with me from day 1 and that is just so awesome to me. I also have 2 personal training clients that have been with me almost since day 1 of my certification as a personal trainer and they aren't just clients to me anymore, they are friends, and I look forward to seeing them every week. (Im not sure they may feel the same about me though once they have left... lol) 

4) We have been given new opportunities in business this year. We partnered with Excel Fitness in the early spring and we continue to work with them. I happen to think we make a great team and I look forward to what 2013 is going to bring. We also started Inspire Fashion in September, which is an online retail clothing and accessory shop, which, I hope to, one day, have a store front for it. 

5) The last 6 months of the year were tough for us as we went through a bit of a financial hardship and that is definetly when my health and fitness journey took a turn for the worse. It was such a stressful time that I used that as an excuse to make poor choices in my eating and working out, or lack of workouts.... Summer was filled with bbq's and camping, school started for my daughter and i was just too busy to workout, she joined a new sport.. the excuses go on and on. 

There was so much more that made up 2012, but these are a few of the moments that stood out for me. I have lost touch with old friends, it seems, and have made some really great new friends. "Im so busy" seems to be the common phrase these days from everyone around. I, for one, plan to stop saying that so much. I am grateful for so many things and i plan to acknowledge that more in my daily life. I plan to make the most out of every day and live more in the moment instead of stressing about the future and the what ifs. I will enjoy my family and friends more as I am grateful to have them in my life. I am not going to let things bother me so much especially things and events that I can not control. Everything happens for a reason, even though we may not get that in the moment. 

As I was running on the treadmill today.... something I have neglected to do for at least a month.... I was listening to my Ipod and a song came on that really hit home for me and it actually brought tears to my eyes as i listened to it. Its amazing how a song can really get into your soul and evoke certain thoughts and emotions. As i end this first blog of 2013, i post the song for you to listen to. <3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJT5dC3DJo4