A Giant Leap Outside My Comfort Zone

Wow, time sure does fly by. Today, February 7, 2015 marks our 2 year anniversary with Nucerity International. Hard to believe its been that long already, considering it seems like yesterday when our good friend, Tamara, sat in our living room, bursting with excitement, sharing this opportunity with us, while I just sat there and thought to myself....."great, she is trying to get us into one of those "things", and i really like her but now I am going to have to avoid her because this is the last thing that I want to do."....Boy, am I glad I took the time to be open minded and listen, even though I was super skeptical. 

Why did we decide to join Tamara that day? The fact that she was super excited and bursting at the seams about this opportunity really got me thinking, and it made us excited too, even though we really didnt know much about it yet, and neither did she as she had just started too. She also said that there was no pressure to join her and that she was running with it regardless of our decision.... That was what got me.... I didnt want to be left behind! So even though we didnt really know much yet, we jumped in with 2 feet because we knew if she was excited, there was a reason.

Looking back now after 2 years, I really realize the gift that Tamara gave to us. If we had continued to be closed minded and not taken the time simply to listen, our life would look alot different. At the time I had been off work (by choice) for 2.5 years but was having to start to look for work as it was getting tougher to keep up with the bills on only one income as well as running our fitness business. The thought of going back to work after not working for that long, scared the hell out of me. Not to mention it was not something I had any desire to do. Not because i am lazy, because that is not the case. Its because after being home for so long, being able to make my own schedule, being able to attend my daughters school functions and be home for her when she was done school at the end of the day, being able to plan holidays without worrying about if I could have the time off, etc,  was something that I enjoyed and was grateful for. Going back to work 40 hours a week would take all that away from me and I would be at the mercy of my boss and having to ask for family time when needed. If i had of not been open minded, I would be doing just that right now.... working a J.O.B and trying to fit in quality family time in on the weekends. Not to mention in this economy, your job isnt even secure anymore like it used to be. Companies are closing down every where we look and who knows what company will be next. If I lost my job, I wouldn't have a 2nd stream of income to fall back on. I would have nothing and that would definitely cause a lot of stress. I also wouldn't have been able to raise our son.... he would have grew up in daycare while I was working to pay for that daycare. Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with daycare. My daughter went to daycare since she was 6 months old, however, her daycare teachers got to raise her for the most part while I was at work. That wasnt something we wanted for our son. 

Also, at a job, you dont get paid for your efforts. You get told your worth by how much you make an hour. Usually, no matter how hard you work, your pay cheque every 2 weeks is the same. You are trading time for money. I didn't want to do that anymore. We work just hard enough so we dont get fired, and our employer pays us just enough so that we don't quit. I also saw how hard my parents worked their entire lives and for what...... so they could retire with 40% of their income? We didnt want that for ourselves. And my Dad didnt even make it to retirement.... he passed away before he could even enjoy any money from his efforts! Because of losing my first husband when I was only 31, i knew that you arent guaranteed to even be around when its time to retire so then what? All that hard work and your gone. You cant enjoy it with your family and friends because you are no longer here. 


Today, 2 years later, i havent had to go back to a day job. I work 12-14 hours a week which is full time in Nucerity. I choose when I want to work those 12-14 hours, not a boss. And I get paid for my efforts. If I do nothing, I dont get paid. Its as simple as that. This isnt a get rich quick scheme, its work, just like your job is work. You have to work at it. If you stopped going to work, would you get paid? Nope..... Network marketing is no different. People join thinking its a lottery ticket but its not. Its work! That is why it is called NetWORKing..... they join, talk to a few people, get some no's and quit saying its not for them..... This is a Million $ business and we treat it as such. Its a 2-5 year plan. Heck.... if you could be a millionaire in 2-5 years, wouldnt you want to give it an honest go? Those 2-5 years are going to pass by anyways so why not do something on the side, that you can schedule in when its convenient for you and who knows..... You could fire your boss one day. I know many women and men in this company that have done just that in less than 5 years! We want that for us too and we WILL have it, whether you join us or not. 

Now you are probably thinking...... well, I could never do that..... but your wrong. You could! If you believe you can, you can. If you have a burning desire for something more, you will find a way. My burning desire was simply that....... I dont want to work all my life, wishing I could take my family on a vacation, or to grow old with regrets because i worked my whole life trying to earn enough money one day to retire and be with my family. I dont want to stress every month worrying about how I am going to pay the bills and only buying the necessities for groceries because I cant afford to buy the extras.... I wanted more... and now we have that. 

It makes me so sad when my friends post about hating their jobs, losing their jobs, missing their husbands that have to go up north to work for weeks at a time and be away from their families, missing weddings, funerals, special occasions because they cant get time off work and so much more. Yet dont even want to take 30 minutes to listen to something that could change their lives. We used to be those people......the only thing different is that we listened even though we were skeptical. Even though we didnt believe in ourselves. Even though we thought it was just another one of those "things'. There will always be people telling you that you cant do this, that its stupid, that it will never work, but I am here to tell you that it isnt stupid and it DOES work. 

I am grateful to Tamara for believing in us when we didnt  believe in ourselves, and for caring about us enough to want to share this gift with us because that is truly what it is, a gift. I am grateful for the people that we have met that we never would have if we had said no. I am grateful for my personal growth that I have achieved while in this business, because you see, its not about selling to my friends, its about creating a team of people who have a burning desire for something more and helping them succeed. To watch people I care about achieve success, get off disability, pay off their car, take an extra holiday, or fire their boss, it feels so amazing and inspiring. I have done things I never thought I would ever do, like stand up in front of a crowd (small crowd, but still.... thats huge for me) and share my story, Ive gained more confidence and belief in myself, although that will always be a work in progress... lol And I get to work with the best business partner ever.... my husband! 

So i guess I am just sharing this because I am so grateful for this amazing opportunity and for the gifts that it has given me and people that I care about..... Its not meant to solicit you or pressure you to join me because like Tamara told us.... we are running with this no matter what..... It would just be more awesome to do it with the ones i love and care about the most. I cant believe how amazing the past 2 years have been and I cant wait to see what is to come in the next 2 years! And it would be even more amazing to see where your life will be in 2 years from now. Those years are going to pass by anyways. 

Widowhood

I cant help but notice so many young couples lately losing their spouses, especially women, and its just so heartbreaking because I know the tough road that they have ahead of them. Every time i hear about someone losing their husband, i relive losing Rene all over again. Its been 12.5 years but its something that will never go away, no matter how long ago it happened, how your life has changed, or if you have remarried. That person was the person who you thought you were going to grow old with, retire with, travel the world with, and suddenly, without any warning, they are ripped away from you like the loss of a limb and you have to change your entire life, the dreams you had are now gone.... or at least you feel they are in that moment. That is the only way to really describe the loss of your spouse is to compare it to losing an arm or a leg. Its something that is a part of you and suddenly its no longer there, and sometimes you forget, like a phantom pain when you are an amputee. Sleep is your only escape and for those few short seconds when you first wake up, you arent thinking about the fact that they are no longer beside you in that bed, and then the harsh reality hits you again like a ton of bricks and you need all the strength you can muster to just swing your legs out of the covers and put your feet on the floor. Getting showered and dressed is your only goal for that day, to make it thru the next few minutes without breaking down and crying....  I am talking ugly girl crying too.... all alone wondering how you will ever be happy again. 

People treat you differently.... they don't mean to, they just do. Its not their fault. You are forever changed, you wont ever be the same person before your loss, and that's ok! You will find out who your real, true friends are which can also feel like yet another loss. People forget that after your loss and the funeral, they get to go back to their regular scheduled lives and continue on, but we dont. We get to go back to an empty house that once was a home with our spouse and now its just a constant reminder of what we have now lost, what will never be. We are alone with our thoughts and they arent good..... we are told that if we need anything, to please ask. But we dont know what we want except for to have our loved one back and for everything to be back to the way it was. I was asked that all the time..... what can i do for you....... I had no idea! I had a friend show up one day and just start washing my kitchen floor. I didnt even know that i needed that, but I did!! I felt bad at first but then i saw that this is what she truly wanted to do for me, so i let her. 

Please dont say our loved ones are in a better place.... thats not true and its a bit insulting. Being with me was a great place so why is being without me suddenly a better place for them to be? 

I would never wish for anyone to go thru the loss of anyone but when i lost Rene, there was no Facebook.... so I didnt know anyone that was going thru what i was going thru except for my 83 year old Nana, but somehow that is different. Yes, she too lost her spouse, but when we are in our 80s and 90s, its more expected. It doesnt make it any less hard, but its an expectation when we are growing old that we will lose our spouse or they will lose us. When we are 31 years old, that is the LAST thing that we expect. Whenever I see a fellow new widow, i am compelled to reach out because I want them to know that there is someone that knows what they are going thru. It sucks! 

The first year is the WORST! You have to go thru all those firsts without them. Their Birthday, the first Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentines Day, Anniversary, kids birthdays if you have kids........ and then the first anniversary of THE day.... Ugh! Its almost as bad as THE actual day. The pain will eventually lessen but we never forget.

Loving again - it can and will happen.... and you might feel guilty about it at first. This is normal. People will tell you their opinions. Happily married people who have never lost a spouse. Some will be happy for you. Some will say you are moving too fast. No one knows the right time except for YOU. Follow your heart. Your loved one would never ever want you to be alone in this world, without love to make you feel safe and happy. I have had people tell me that i was married too soon. For the record, i lost Rene in Sept 2002 and was remarried in August of 2006. 4 years is a long time.... how long am I supposed to be sad and lonely? How long does my daugther have to be without a father figure in her life? Everyone deserves happiness and love. A widow is no different. It doesnt mean they are forgetting their loved one. That is impossible! I still think of Rene alot and I will always love him and we talk about him with my daughter who is now 16 and was 4 when she lost her Dad. She remembers him and still misses him to this day. 

So to all those widows out there.... My heart aches for you as I go thru my journey of loss all over again everytime i think of you all. And that is ok because that is a part of me and its made me into the person I am today. I am stronger, more brave, more courageous and i try to live more in the moment as you never know when your last day will be. Listen to your heart, be kind to yourself and take all the time you need to grieve because only YOU know how much time that is.