Love Yourself

People constantly are telling others that you just need to love yourself but no one really can tell them how. This is a concept, to me, that is easier said than done. Similar to someone saying, "you just need to have patience". Well, that's great and all but what if you weren't taught patience? These are things you cant just turn around and simply DO, you need the tools to make them happen. 

I am uncomfortable with compliments. I dont know why, I just am. Oh sure, if I sat down and really thought about it, I could figure out why they make me uncomfortable. Im sure one of the reasons is that I just don't believe it. I have had people say "You are beautiful", "You inspire me",  "You are awesome" , etc......... but I have such a hard time believing it and I wish that I could. I wish  I could see myself the way others see me, and I truly dont know how to figure out a way to do that. YES, I absolutely need to STOP the negative self talk. ABSOLUTELY! Do i need to stop comparing myself to others? YES! Easier said than done!

Sometimes I feel like Im not deserving of love. I know this stems back to my childhood and the things that were said to and about me. (that's a whole other blog post that Im not ready to dive into) Its true what they say about words hurting and you cant take back the harmful things that you say, even if you don't really mean them. Once they are out, they are out!

As im writing this, Im googling ways to love yourself and these are a few things that I have come up with that I thought I would share. 

1 - Learn to let go of past events. You deserve a fresh beginning! There are a lot of people out there that have had hard lives/bad beginnings or moments. Don't close yourself out of grief, disappointments, or fears of future ridicule. Acknowledge your feelings, but work to put them behind you. Cherish what you have learned from your challenges, and how you have changed and grown from them. Forgive those who have done you wrong. Most importantly, though, forgive yourself.

2 - Forgive yourself. Don't punish yourself for something you have done in the past. Instead, look at the mistake as a learning experience. Say to yourself now: “I forgive myself for _______.” Go look in a mirror and say it out loud to yourself. Look yourself right in the eyes and speak forgiveness like you mean it. Don't ever demean or ridicule yourself. If you do, laugh out loud, realizing that was then and this is now. Every day is a new beginning. If you did something you are not proud of, resolve never to do it again and take steps to keep it out of your mind.

3 - Sit in front of the mirror. Imagine in the mirror is someone putting you down. Then, practice calmly saying to her, "I do 'not' care," with a smile. Practice it until you truly believe it. Do not allow some other person's image of perfect to manifest you. If you believe you are pretty, the person in the mirror will look pretty. If you focus on what others hate about you, that is all you will see.

4 - Put positive statements up some places where you will see them each and every day. "I am beautiful." or "I have the courage to love." Write notes that remind you of what you love most about yourself. Read them out loud, every day, at least once, ideally at least ten times each time you notice one of them. Sticky notes are fabulous for such affirmations and goals.

5 -  Keep a journal. Write about your experiences, good and bad. When you write down good experiences, allow yourself to feel those feelings. When you remember bad experiences, allow yourself to feel self-compassion. Compassion is not self-pity, but rather willingness to be present/accept with one's own pain and regret. Most people experienced chronic emotional invalidation growing up; adults shouldn't expect others to be validating, and need to learn how to validate themselves. Compassion allows us to be present with our pain so it can be acknowledged and let go.



To check out more points, follow this link to the website I found these from. 
http://www.wikihow.com/Love-Yourself